Sorrow and Bliss

St Just Thursday Evening Reading Group 2nd March 2023.

Sorrow and bliss. Meg Mason.

It has to be said that, despite this book’s reputation, not everyone was very impressed with it. One or two readers said they enjoyed it (with some reservations), liked the writing style, the humour and observations, and thought the characters were well chosen. Most people did appreciate the ‘one-liners’, particularly the ones concerning children. The book was described as “well crafted”, and “an easy read/page turner”.

Several other readers however said that in general they did not like it. Martha being so self-obsessed that she wore out all of her family and friends seemed to extend to the readers as well – many, many comments reflected this idea. “Martha wanted all the sympathy. How Patrick stayed with her I do not know.” “Martha continues to play the martyr and in fact wallows in the role.” “How convenient to blame everybody else.” “she could have helped other people and she didn’t, couldn’t or wouldn’t.” The portrayal of someone who for the most part is unable to think beyond herself, and is never helped to do so or to see treatment for her illness in a positive light, seemed to make for a book that came over as unkind, and not at all uplifting. Also despite the one-liners, several readers did not find the book remotely humorous, and didn’t really like the writing style (this was particularly the case at the beginning of the book, which seemed very unstructured and hard to read).

But the principal, and most important criticism of this book, was that the mental illness from which Martha was suffering was not defined. This was seen as very disappointing, unfair to people actually suffering mental health problems, and also gave the impression that the author could therefore write anything she liked about the subject, and the reader was merely being played with.

Despite these quite serious criticisms, all of the group did finish this book, and several people said that they had found it very absorbing.

This book divided opinion quite strongly in our Hythe Book Group and even though nominated for The Women’s Prize it was not a popular read with all.
Felt it was a both and sad and at times funny story about love in many forms - father and daughter, lack of self love, siblings, etc
Not funny. Couldn't stand her self centred, selfish, victimhood. Blaming everyone else.
Many of us will have had our own personal experiences of mental health issues within our own lives or close friends and relatives - post-natal depression, nervous breakdown, so was interesting to see them dealt with in a novel.
I enjoyed the dry, black humour, the banter between sisters, and felt it was well described. I had a real sense of Martha as a person - seemed realistic. Surely the point of the novel is not whether you liked her or not its whether you felt it was an accurate and convincing portrayal of a young woman suffering a mental health condition?
Was familiar to me. Have had experience of working with people with mental health issues- absorbing, powerful read and an important book to have been written.
Debate over whether the author should have identified Martha’s condition - bi-polar, schizophrenia, psychosis, depressions.
Have a close friend who has similar issues to Martha. She would not read the book- too close to home - but as I read it I could identify so many parallels with her behaviour and condition over the years.
More sorrow than bliss for me!
On a first read some months ago found depressing but on re-reading I didn't laugh out loud but did find it very sad and enjoyed it more.
The book irritated me as did the main character - didn't find I could engage with her so had little sympathy or empathy and didn't feel I could take much away from the books which is what I usually like to do when I read.
Hated this “modern” style of writing with speech sometimes in quotation marks and other times not . Annoying style that seems increasingly common in the modern novel.
No sympathy with the character.
Was it autobiographical? A "difficult" book to read and as someone who has suffered mental health issues in the past quite "raw" . Dark and moody. Disappointed by it given all the publicity and hype.
I did laugh out loud - thought her family were hilarious eccentrics.
Powerful letter from her mother towards the end of the book - inherited the condition. “ Things do happen, terrible things. The only thing any of us get to do is decide whether they happen to us or if, at least in part, they happen for us” Rang so true.
A dysfunctional family. Martha may be spoilt, privileged and have access to medical support but she is still in pain, suffering and ill. Is she unpleasant and unlikeable or are these symptoms of her distress and illness?
Liked the Virginia Woolf quote “illuminations - matches struck unexpectedly in the dark”
Loved the story of Roland buying up her father’s poetry books in bookshops so it became a best seller. Some great one liners.
Scores indicated a division in opinion with the 12 of us who had read it as they ranged from 5 to 9. Total of 85 so an average score of 7.08

A little predictable in places, and not enough depth in some but a nice read that I enjoyed.

A great insight into mental health that's written with such delicacy and humour that it's actually a joy to read. So much in here for a book group to discuss.